Peter Orszag, Stud.

In Washington, tongues are wagging over a bit of domestic intrigue:  Peter Orszag, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, the OMB, released a statement saying he’s having a child by an ex-girlfriend even though he’s engaged to a different woman.  Orszag already has two children by an ex-wife.

Apparently this dude's da b-o-m-b of o-m-b.

3 women.

3 kids.

And maybe more on the way?

How does Orszag stretch his dollar?  For starters, like George Foreman, Peter Orszag should name all his kids the same name.  Foreman’s 5 sons are all named George.  It's less confusing, sure, but on birthdays and holidays, think of the money Orszag will save monogramming the J. CREW shirts, Ralph Lauren towels, and LL Bean suitcases with a simple "Peter."

Orszag is now the King of Nerd Chic in D.C. -- he needs to work it and cash in, first by posing on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine, shirtless, holding a couple of calculators – a moody, black and white image, something that really brings sexy back to the OMB.

Then comes the merchandising.  Some moneymaking gadget -- like an abacus that's also a diaphragm.  He should call it - simply - the Peter OrsZAP! – it adds, subtracts, and stops sperm in their tracks.  

Orszag's going to need to pinch pennies in his own household to cover his growing family - and to keep his ladies happy.  Peter, stick with QVC - for the Joan River’s collection.  Or Susan Lucci facial products.  You can get this stuff in bulk.  And for yourself, pick up the “I Am King” cologne by Sean P. Diddy Combs.

And lastly, you’ve got a wedding coming up – first ask yourself:  do I have a wedding coming up?  If the answer’s yes, how do you manage everyone - your kids, your exes - under one wedding tent, amicably?  Simple:  1-800-MAURY.